Remember Dirty Dancing? If you haven’t seen it, quit reading this blog right now, for you are not my people. Or quit reading it, go see it, and come back to reading my blog. Okay, it’s just us cool kids now. So, remember that scene where Lisa Houseman was practicing her slightly off-key hula song, and then dropped the bomb that she was going to do a little dirty sheet dancing with that preppy waiter guy?
Note her shorts. Fish shorts. Shorts with fish on them. Or, as I see every time I look at it: fish crotch.
The latest thing seems to be a slightly more fragrant version of fish crotch: floral crotch.
Skinny floral pants seem to be cropping up as we head into spring, and I just don’t know if I can support this at all. First of all, LiLo is wearing it. That has to be a bad sign. Never trust a girl who is quickly turning herself into Donatella Versace.
She’s not the only starlet around town rocking the trend. It’s out there.
I can’t help but think of all the pitfalls of this look, however. Heaven forbid you get a wedgie; you’d look like you were using your crack for a vase!
Not to mention how rich a mine this would be for the wags who wants to joke about your “lady garden”.
Those young folks.
And Charlotte Church is rocking a rather 90’s version of the trend. I think I owned these in college. Stop going through my trash, C.C.!
I do have to give Mr. Steven Tyler some props. It takes some balls to wear florals. I’m not saying they look good, though.
Sometimes I look at the floral pants and think, “maybe I’ll eventually like them.” Next summer, or even later this year. But then I think, “if the Material Girl couldn’t even do them justice in her prime, what hope do the rest of us have?”
Floral skinnies? Fishcrotch? Would you try either? What if you could carry a watermelon?