Fug Me Friday: Crocs

Let’s get it out there right now, shall we? I DON’T CARE THAT THEY’RE COMFORTABLE. If the experience was like being carried by a host of angels while having soft kittens undulating softly underfoot, I still wouldn’t wear them. Well, maybe, but only at home. Never out.

They are foam. They are neon colored. They have ventilation holes, which don’t actually prevent your feet from being smelly. The toe box is slightly flared, making your feet look cartoonish. To me, this is a whole host of reasons to avoid Crocs, but some celebrities persist.

Signs of a marriage in trouble?

Apparently, Brooke Shields even thinks that they are formal wear. But it does solve the whole dilemma of what shoes to wear with a bright pink circus tent.

If you do persist, you will have to bear the ignominy of sharing the same footwear brand as Iggy Pop and Steven Tyler. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

*Exceptions: You may wear Crocs if you are:
–Pregnant
–A Chef
–A Child

That’s it.

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