There’s nothing like a day off to catch up on some daytime television. While watching HGTV on Monday while I was off for Columbus Day, I saw this commercial:
And I DIED. I thought a Snuggie was bad! But this is like an Extreme Snuggie–for when you’re too lazy to take your arms out and throw the Snuggie off to walk around.
Basically, this is a less-sexy version of a Union Suit. (Let’s not get into why the Union Suit can be sexy. I’m an old fashioned girl. Who used to have romantic notions about Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. Okay?) A Union Suit is ye olde underwear that is all one piece, and very handy for the colder climes in winter.
But let’s be honest. This is not so much a Union Suit with its accompanying hint of the male form as much as an adult footy pajama. In a limited color selection. Without the feet.
Two things about this commercial, and the Forever Lazy, that baffle me are as follows:
PEOPLE ARE PICTURED OUTSIDE IN THESE ABOMINATIONS. Get off your deck, sir and madam, for the neighbors are laughing at you.
Not only are people outside, it is advertised as being appropriate for tailgating. Ladies, if you are wearing these to go tailgating, go ahead and stay at home. It’s better. And gentlemen, if you are wearing a Forever Lazy to a sporting event, you may no longer call yourself a real man. Get someone to cut your balls off and you can carry them around in a satin pouch. GAME OVER.
The second shocking Forever Lazy feature: a BUTT FLAP. When you are too lazy to take off your lazy clothes to take a lazy bathroom break. Just don’t get too lazy to pull the zipper down all the way, k?