Fug Me Friday: Self-Congratulatory Tees

I am not a huge fan of the message tee. My boobs attract enough attention without people reading them. But there’s a subsection of the message tee that I can’t stand. Second-hand embarrassing on teenagers, inexcusable on adults, they send a message that is the opposite of intended. Your tee may say “I’m Awesome”, but usually, you’re anything but. Today, I’ll translate what I think these shirts are actually saying.

1. “I have a boyfriend. I’m not a loser after all.”
2. “I am insecure about my relationship, clingy, and slightly stalker-ish.”
(This tee is the sartorial equivalent to a giant neck hickey–tacky, unnecessary, and cringe-worthy.)

“I’m unpopular and have the emotional maturity of a 12-year-old.”

1. “I’m a slut.”
2. “I’m not a slut but I want people to think I could be a slut.”
3. “…And now he’ll probably cheat on me, too.”

“Relationship me up NOW.”

“I’m a sad cat lady.”

“That’s a command.”

At least the last one’s honest.

Until next Friday–be careful what your boobs are saying.


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