Fug Me Friday: Squirrelly Mustaches

I recently came across this horrible sight:

Let’s attempt (after much effort) to ignore that fact that he’s borrowing Edward Cullen’s wardrobe from his “Meadow” collection and rocking the sleeveless button-up. What, in the name of all that’s holy, is crawling across his upper lip?!?

I know, gentlemen, that last month was “Movember” (aka “No Shave November”). You got past the first uncomfortable grow-out, and then discovered that it’s kind of awesome to not have to shave every morning. Your routine was streamlined. And gradually, oh so gradually, you figured that you should go back to that clean-shaven look. But in the meantime, how FUN would it be to shave it into all kinds of facial hairogami first?

I love facial hair. With a passion. But the patchy mustache or the 70’s homage leaves me cold. The gooseflesh pale skin with a coarse mustache is not a good look. I’ll put up with some rug burn from good stubble, but those mustaches should never come near me.

Full groomed beard. Stubble. Clean-shaven. Well-tended goatee IF it looks good on you. Those are your options, gentlemen. Avoid the mustache, for everyone’s sake. Don’t follow the hipsters down that dark road. Because that road…leads to Joaquin Phoenixville.


2 thoughts on “Fug Me Friday: Squirrelly Mustaches

  1. No! for facial (or underarm or chest) hair on my guys! Goatees died with grunge and everything else is just not pretty for my taste.

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