Fug Me Friday: The Debut

For all the pretty, fun, lovely things I want to put on this blog, there are some things that are just too horrible that I find impossible to turn away from. For this reason, I have decided to begin FUG ME FRIDAY. (With apologies to the Fug Girls. Sorry. But the Urban Dictionary says that Steinbeck used it, so it’s good enough for me. [While you’re at the Urban Dictionary, look something up! Can I suggest Hot Carl?] [Okay, don’t click on that link if you’re squeamish. Apologies again.])

I have a complicated history with the secretary at my school. She was hired because her father is the principal, and I have very little respect for her. With some recent incidents (like her slapping me in the face after I got back from having major dental work), our relationship is a little strained, to say the least. Yesterday, on a very cold day, she came to work in a leather jacket, a beret, and flip-flops, causing me a major WTF? moment. But I well prefer flip-flops to the other shoes she’s been known to wear–the dreaded Vibram FiveFingers:

What fresh hell is this?

The website claims that these shoes are very ergonomic and healthy. They claim to improve your balance, agility, and proprioception. (Is that even a word? Did they make that up?) They claim that their shoes are like walking barefoot. I love being barefoot. I’m barefoot right now. But I think I’d rather walk barefoot over blacktop and through goat head thorns than in these things.

My reaction to these shoes is almost visceral. First of all, they creep me out. The little toes are almost obscene, and I feel like the sensation of having something between your toes would be odd. I’m very picky about flip-flops, because I don’t like anything that rubs between my toes. They are wacky. A small child once grilled our secretary about her weird shoes. I figure she probably has to deal with that all the time. There is nothing flattering or womanly about them. And also the name sounds vaguely like a sexual aid.

I’m sure they’re comfortable. But if life was about comfort, we’d spend all our time in sweats and muu muus. That’s just not a world I can live in.

I will not be telling our secretary to wear REAL SHOES, because that might get me hit (again). But at a cost of $100, one would imagine she could buy some nice shoes instead of these oddball freaky shoes.

What do you think? Would you wear the creepy toe shoes?

5 thoughts on “Fug Me Friday: The Debut

  1. I LOATHE THESE! The first time I saw them was on some dude in Kohls. He was in line in front of me and I couldn’t stop staring. I just can’t understand them. WHY? Why, why why. I ninjapic’ed them and tweeted it (naturally). A friend said they’re for running? But then I saw another dude wearing them who had to be 450lbs, so… I think they’re just to freak people out.

    Ugh. I liked your last shoe post better.

  2. OMG. Where to start?!?!

    First– obviously– you said HOT CARL. BWAHAHAHAHA

    2nd– yes, these shoes creep me out too. A lot of my cross country runners wear them in their meets. I am fine with that because they are competing and not walking around downtown with a black turtleneck, plaid burberry scarf and skinny jeans ROLLED UP, as I saw on a Dallas Man two days ago. ew.

    3rd– proprioception is a word. it’s your bodies ability to identify its self in time and space. sorry. the athletic trainer in me couldn’t NOT add that little ditty. 😉 #donthateme

    1. You know there’s a little “Unapprove this comment” button, right? *Gives you the stink eye*

      Okay, point taken. It’s a real word, but couldn’t they have used “kinesthesia” instead? I would think it would describe the effect of a pair of shoes better. Plus I know that word.

      I’m with you–if you’re running, fine, but if these are your “fashion statement”, or, like our secretary, your big workout involves clicking a computer mouse–leave them at home!

      Oh, and not only did I say “Hot Carl”–at least one person clicked the link! I WIN.

  3. I just, there aren’t words. None.
    I might have just worn my flip flops with the thong part between different toes to figure out the feeling of these shoes. I was not comfortable!

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