For all the pretty, fun, lovely things I want to put on this blog, there are some things that are just too horrible that I find impossible to turn away from. For this reason, I have decided to begin FUG ME FRIDAY. (With apologies to the Fug Girls. Sorry. But the Urban Dictionary says that Steinbeck used it, so it’s good enough for me. [While you’re at the Urban Dictionary, look something up! Can I suggest Hot Carl?] [Okay, don’t click on that link if you’re squeamish. Apologies again.])
I have a complicated history with the secretary at my school. She was hired because her father is the principal, and I have very little respect for her. With some recent incidents (like her slapping me in the face after I got back from having major dental work), our relationship is a little strained, to say the least. Yesterday, on a very cold day, she came to work in a leather jacket, a beret, and flip-flops, causing me a major WTF? moment. But I well prefer flip-flops to the other shoes she’s been known to wear–the dreaded Vibram FiveFingers:
The website claims that these shoes are very ergonomic and healthy. They claim to improve your balance, agility, and proprioception. (Is that even a word? Did they make that up?) They claim that their shoes are like walking barefoot. I love being barefoot. I’m barefoot right now. But I think I’d rather walk barefoot over blacktop and through goat head thorns than in these things.
My reaction to these shoes is almost visceral. First of all, they creep me out. The little toes are almost obscene, and I feel like the sensation of having something between your toes would be odd. I’m very picky about flip-flops, because I don’t like anything that rubs between my toes. They are wacky. A small child once grilled our secretary about her weird shoes. I figure she probably has to deal with that all the time. There is nothing flattering or womanly about them. And also the name sounds vaguely like a sexual aid.
I’m sure they’re comfortable. But if life was about comfort, we’d spend all our time in sweats and muu muus. That’s just not a world I can live in.
I will not be telling our secretary to wear REAL SHOES, because that might get me hit (again). But at a cost of $100, one would imagine she could buy some nice shoes instead of these oddball freaky shoes.
What do you think? Would you wear the creepy toe shoes?