Woman Failures

I think, if asked, people would say I’m a “girly girl”.  I like makeup and always do my hair and have great taste in shoes.  However, there are a few things in which I always fail, and I wish I didn’t.  I feel like I’ll always be a few steps shy of being a polished woman while these things remain trouble areas.

1.  Plucking my eyebrows…etc.

No, I would not let it get this far.

Last year I decided to try waxing my eyebrows for the first time. I did a home wax job (I’m pretty fearless with DIY beauty), and it worked beautifully. And then I did it again, and it turned out horribly. I had bumps everywhere I waxed, and by the time the bumps healed, my eyebrows were grown in again. I decided that maybe the professionals would be a better bet. And I had the exact same reaction.

Plucking works wonders, but I’ve never gotten the hang of maintenance plucking. I had a roommate in college who was obsessive about her beauty rituals; she would stand in front of the mirror every day and catch every little blonde eyebrow hair. I haven’t developed that knack. I usually think of it when I catch a glimpse of approaching unibrow in the mirror. Or, now that I’m in my 30’s, horror of horrors, when I catch a glimpse of an unruly chin hair standing out, bold as brass.

2. Nail care

Dare to dream...

An ex-boyfriend of mine once commented “You always polish your toenails, but never your fingernails.” I am obsessive about great pedicures, but my hands usually look terrible. Ragged nails, different lengths, no polish, often dirty. Really embarrassing, actually. I just don’t seem to notice my hands. A friend of mine in college once decided it would be a hilarious joke if he came up and held a knife to my throat, blade side out. I panicked and reached a hand up to my neck, cutting my hand on the outward-facing blade. The guy’s roommate totally reamed him out, saying that “a woman’s hands are her grace, her beauty”. But I can never seem to keep them nice for long. Polish chips and smudges before I’ve finished it, and nails break before I can get them all to a nice length. I used to have acrylics, which were the nicest fingernails I’ve ever had, but they destroyed my natural nails. So now I just have terrible hands.

3. Lotioning up

I know what you and I have in common...

I live in the desert. It is SERIOUSLY DRY here. Yet I lived through all last winter with a dry patch on my stomach that itched like crazy–and I never could manage to be bothered to apply lotion to it. I don’t use facial lotion, and I let my legs go scaly. There is something about lotion that I don’t like. I don’t like my clothes to stick to my skin. I don’t like waiting for it to soak in. Same thing happens in the summer–I do a bit of self-tanning lotion, but I give up all too soon and allow myself to go pasty instead.

Am I alone here? Does anybody else have any failings?

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