I Turn Your Crank. Admit It.

According to my searches and most popular posts, you people have unique tastes. You are discriminating. You want only the best. And you dream big. Using my talent for tastespotting and trendsetting, here are the upcoming blog posts I believe you might want to see:

1. Jersey Shore boys grow mustaches!

2. Mumford and Sons’ New Year’s Resolution: Travel!

3. Gwen Stefani in Dia De Los Muertos makeup

By special request (a.k.a. from the search terms)

4. Men on a bike

(According to the search term, it was actually supposed to be these guys in winter, but you can’t have everything, people. Imagine them in the snow, instead.)

5. Scary Pin-Up

And everyone seems to want to see more of this:

6. Bob Harper Shirtless

Twist my arm, people.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hey, guys?

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah, you kinda pervy ones, over there…

 

 

 

 

 

I got the memo. I have what you want.

 

 

 

And a super-special bonus…

 

You’re welcome.

Fug Me Friday: Squirrelly Mustaches

I recently came across this horrible sight:

Let’s attempt (after much effort) to ignore that fact that he’s borrowing Edward Cullen’s wardrobe from his “Meadow” collection and rocking the sleeveless button-up. What, in the name of all that’s holy, is crawling across his upper lip?!?

I know, gentlemen, that last month was “Movember” (aka “No Shave November”). You got past the first uncomfortable grow-out, and then discovered that it’s kind of awesome to not have to shave every morning. Your routine was streamlined. And gradually, oh so gradually, you figured that you should go back to that clean-shaven look. But in the meantime, how FUN would it be to shave it into all kinds of facial hairogami first?

I love facial hair. With a passion. But the patchy mustache or the 70′s homage leaves me cold. The gooseflesh pale skin with a coarse mustache is not a good look. I’ll put up with some rug burn from good stubble, but those mustaches should never come near me.

Full groomed beard. Stubble. Clean-shaven. Well-tended goatee IF it looks good on you. Those are your options, gentlemen. Avoid the mustache, for everyone’s sake. Don’t follow the hipsters down that dark road. Because that road…leads to Joaquin Phoenixville.

Right...

Wrong.